High Hopes

by Ardvarck

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Nate - Words
Alex - Four String
Corey - Drums
Tim - Six String


released July 27, 2013

Recorded by screamo legend Kris Di Benedetto
Album art by Nathan Dragon



all rights reserved


Ardvarck Chicago, Illinois


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Track Name: Six
I'm miserable and I think you like it
I think you need it.
My suffering burns like still frames in your eyes.
As a fascination of inner torture, self-inflicted, and amplifying danger.
When my hands still smell like smoke, tightness in my chest grows.
At least they're not the ones around your throat.
It's fucking bitter, how you stayed home
It's fucking bitter, the coming winter cold
I know it's true.
You never loved me.
I was led to believe, no matter how much I bleed, you would help sew all the stitches.
I would apologize if it were at all my fault.

I did too much. I lost so much. I bled so much.
Was it you or I who belongs buried at the end of the rides that we used to drive, each and every night?

They say home is where the heart is, but I forgot where I put it, who had it last, and who treated it like the bottle made of glass. Smashed and shattered, left in a parking lot to break down, and reflect light.
A light that never caught. A light that never burned out.

I am invisible.
I am rustled sheets.
I am the leftover prints of our feet on a world we could have conquered.
I am those hopeless dreams.
I am the ruins that remain.
I am the sleep that can't be had.
I am the sleep that can't be had.
Track Name: I'm Told
I'm told to grow up.
I'm told to get my head of childhood.
That I have all the time.
I'm told I have none.
I'm told to go to school.
I'm told to get a job.
I'm told to live like everyone else.

Let me choose
For my self
I can't live
If you won't let me
You're naive
And I'm lost
And fuck off

I'm told that I am alone.
I'm told that it's all my fault.
I'm told that the issues can't be fixed by our hands.
I'm told that I am hateful.
Well I'll tell you

I hate your blindness,
and I hate you.
Track Name: Bear Ankles
Your bare ankles, between your toes and your cuffed jeans
Dreams of breaking teeth, crunched against concrete
Corner me into a place they told you to put me in

Committing sins
Spitting up my fears
Why do you think it's been over a year?
Scared of a poison kiss, tea stained teeth, and your lips.
Do you ever wonder what you missed?
I don't
but it lingers in
My thoughts and your curled fingers.

Your bare ankles
Rest across my old couch
Or dipped into the sand behind your house
Do you feel diseased?
Am I still bitter?
I fucking hope you're alone forever

Shut up in your room, picking these splinters
Here's to home
And the ones you never told
Why do you think it's been over a year?
Track Name: Sixer for the Train
Have you ever seen the rain when the sky isn't grey?
A white line defines the shoreline
Waiting this time
For feelings to rewind
Sitting in one moment
Letting but several pass by
Oblivious to the way each one
Shrivels up and dies
Left to sink
Collecting on the floor
Like memories
We shed with skin
Departing through the front door
Slammed shut
Expelling innocence

Just don't forget that an exit is not an entrance
It will never come back to sit at the sill we sat at
While we reconciled a broken night
We could put the pieces back
What's left now is desolate, dry, and black

A mirage of false hope, where time didn't elapse.
An anxious breaking of a ship
Time doesn't want us back

I'm yearning just to curl up and die with you
But what's the worth of a last breath?
Track Name: A Mirror and a Pair of Goggles
Nothing's the same and you think that I'm pissed
It's always a cycle, a push and a twist
You think you know me, but I know that's shit
These fucking holes come from walls versus fist

Alan Baker:
A canvas so beaten and torn
This where people like us have been born
Striving for independence, that image
So unattainable, and you're spiraling out of control

A painting you never cared to finish

Down this beaten path you've once walked before
A body so worn, never as bright, never will gleam

Swimming in a sea you can't have
Intentions strayed from your holy path

It's the way this house echoes when no one's home
I'll go up to the bathroom and watch myself drown

Armed with a mirror and a pair of goggles
Just tools to prove that when I'm gone, nothing will change

I am gone, and nothing changed.

I flipped the book, but I stay on the same page.